Home, where is home to you? Is it your place of upbringing, where your family resides, your current location, or a little bit of it all? I typed this, but it still makes me smile in surprise to realize I refer to Halifax as home. I suppose I’m always on edge about the question of home; my hometown being a little rural place in Ontario where my parents reside, my birthplace being St. John’s, and my living situation in flux. Home can certainly feel like more of an emotion, than a noun, and it feels good that I can call Halifax home.
I’m excited to visit Halifax. I will be there in 8 weeks! Yikes. I’ve had approval from Global Affairs Canada to leave the program early to assist in coordinating an event for Pride Week. If you’re in the area I encourage you to fully engage in this week of advocacy, expression, and of course Dionysian celebration.
I’ve been living in Jamaica now for 4 almost 5 months. It’s been a roller coaster of feelings, but I have found myself deeply happy within my time here. There will always be a part of me that has been shaped by this little island. It has a rhythm of its own, and when you finally figure it out, you realize how much you have missed at the surface level.
On the other hand, I will not miss being catcalled at 8 o’clock in the morning on my way to work… that is far too early to hear about any one’s junk or what they want to do with mine. My anger only serves as a joke when having lost my temper at more than one of these men on this journey. But hey, we learn.
In returning to Halifax, I am eager to see how the place will look through my shiny-new perspective glasses. I have a lot of gratitude for the humble sea-side city and the friends who have had my back despite our distance. I was formed as a person in Halifax, but I can’t pretend that I am the same, or those who I left are living the same lives. Time changes our shape, like stones in the sea. We can only hope that our edges will be smoothed with time.
For now I’m still a jagged little rock tumbling along different beaches and enjoying the sights and sounds. I don’t pretend I am coming to stay forever. I am not at my place of rest. Six months is not nearly long enough to say I have satisfied my craving for the unsettling newness that keeps my coals hot.
I look forward to this next step in the adventure. I don’t see it as taking a step backwards for it being a familiar place. Returning after time, to a place of such importance, is a bigger challenge than the promise of a fresh start.